When Spanish conquistador Hernán Cortés returned to the court of King Charles V in 1528, he didn’t just unload gold, jewels, and enough Aztec plunder to decorate an empire. Tucked among the treasures were sacks of strange, bitter beans, elaborately carved drinking vessels, and a set of instructions for preparing xocolatl, a dark, spiced drink the Aztecs believed bestowed vitality, virility, and divine favour.
The Spanish nobility was intrigued. Then horrified. Then deeply confused. This gritty, bitter concoction wasn’t so much a beverage as a punch in the palate, designed to fuel warriors, not woo courtiers.
But innovation followed rejection.
How the Monks Saved Chocolate (and Possibly Doomed Us All to Addiction)
Spanish monks, possibly tired of asceticism and unimpressed by the drink’s resemblance to liquid punishment, gave the brew a holy makeover. A sprinkle of cinnamon, a swirl of sugar, a drop of vanilla, and just like that, xocolatl became chocolate. Not yet a bar or truffle, but a fashionable, frothy elixir that launched Europe’s long and complicated love affair with the bean.
By the late 1500s, cacao had sashayed its way across Europe, charming the aristocracy, and eventually the cloistered.
The Great Chocolate Mutiny of Chiapas
Across Spain, Catholic nuns were among the earliest adopters of drinking chocolate as a medicinal and energising tonic. Mixed with sugar and spices, cacao sustained them through long fasting periods and early-morning prayers. But the habit soon became so widespread, it stirred ecclesiastical controversy.
In a now-legendary episode from 17th-century Chiapas, Bishop Bernardino de Salazar tried to ban nuns from drinking chocolate during Mass. Why? Because the sisters had taken to having hot chocolate delivered directly to their pews, mid-sermon!
The bishop, unimpressed by this un-nun-like defiance (he liked his nuns pious and ideally a little under-caffeinated), attempted to assert control by banning chocolate altogether. The nuns, equally unimpressed, simply stopped showing up to his sermons. Not long after, the bishop was found dead. The cause? A cup of chocolate, allegedly poisoned.
Was it murder? Divine retribution? A cardiac event with a hint of nutmeg? We’ll never know (and if you read my last newsletter about mushrooms, you’ll know this isn’t history’s first nor last flirtation with death by delicacy.)
And let’s be honest: if you’ve ever tried giving up caffeine, you’ll understand exactly why the nuns stood their ground.
And Science Says… They Were Onto Something
Modern neuroscience is beginning to explore what those rebellious nuns seemed to intuit: chocolate may be really good for the brain. Specifically, cacao that’s rich in flavanols, the antioxidant compounds found abundantly in cocoa beans.
Some research now shows that high-flavanol dark chocolate and pure cacao can:
- Boost cerebral blood flow
(Translation: more oxygen to your brain = better thinking) - Support neuroplasticity
(Your brain’s ability to adapt, learn, and rewire) - Increase Brain-Derived Neurotrophic Factor (BDNF)
(Think of BDNF as fertiliser for your neurons) - Improve memory, focus, and reaction time
(Especially in middle-aged and older adults—ahem)
A recent meta-analysis of clinical trials found that regular cocoa flavanol intake was linked to improvements in memory and attention. Most of the studies were small and short-term, but together they add to a growing body of evidence that cacao may support brain health. And honestly, I can’t think of anything more delicious, or more benign, to add to my brain health routine.
How to Dose (Without Overdosing)
Before you raid your snack drawer, let’s clarify. The benefits don’t come from the kind of chocolate shaped like a bunny or filled with caramel lava.
The cognitive perks can mostly be found in:
- Raw cacao powder
- Products that list actual flavanol content, for example, CocoaVia CardioHealth, a cacao powder standardised to deliver 500mg of flavanols per serve, with strong clinical evidence for lowering blood pressure. Now, flavanol levels vary wildly by brand, which is why aiming for around 400–500mg per day is a safe bet. The most reliable way to get there is with:
- 2 TBSP of raw ceremonial cacao
- 1 Scoop of CocoaVia CardioHealth
While I love dark chocolate and happily nibble a couple of squares of 90% daily, that only gives you about 30–50mg of flavanols—nowhere near the therapeutic range on its own.
A Not-So-Sweet Truth: What About Ethics?
One final (and less tasty) consideration: where your chocolate comes from.
A few years ago, a group of former child labourers from Mali attempted to sue Nestlé, Mars, and Hershey in the U.S., claiming they profited from child slavery on West African cocoa farms. In 2025, the final ruling dismissed the case due to a lack of direct evidence. Legally, the case is closed. Ethically, the conversation is very much alive.
Unfortunately, child labour in cocoa production remains a systemic issue, especially in West Africa, where around 60–70% of the world’s cocoa is grown.
The good news: some brands are taking action:
- Tony’s Chocolonely is often considered the gold standard in fair trade and anti-slavery practices.
- Lindt is implementing a Child Labour Monitoring and Remediation System with full traceability by (hopefully) end of 2025.
- Aldi Australia has teamed up with Tony’s Chocolonely to launch the CHOCO CHANGER range under their Choceur brand.
So yes, chocolate can support your neurons. But please make sure it’s not at the expense of someone else’s childhood.
Final thoughts from your neuroscience-obsessed chocolate lover
Will chocolate make you smarter? The jury’s still out. But will it make you happier while you wait for the data? Absolutely!